Watching a BBC TV programme – ‘The Future State of Welfare’ about Social Security and unemployment benefits being cut last week, I heard ex-newscaster John Humphrys interviewing the organiser of a Government ‘back to work’ training scheme for unemployed people designed to equip them with job skills.
This organiser breathlessly gabbling meaningless nonsense about how useful and successful this ‘job training’ was to the hopeless unemployed who turned up in sheer desperation it might somehow magically conjure a job out of thin air earnestly told John Humphrys that part of the training these unemployed people received was ‘decorating cup cakes’.( About from minute 28 of the programme. Not any more ! I’ve just discovered the BBC have pulled the programme. It is no longer available to view. Perhaps it was embarrassing ?)
It was a useful skill, the organiser said because it taught ‘self confidence’ to the unemployed.
“But these are grown up men and women….. are you sure you are not treating them like children” replied John Humphrys, looking poleaxed with sheer wide eyed amazement, clearly scarcely able to believe his ears.
So, all you two and a half million bone idle unemployed layabouts , go out to your nearest Asda supermarket, buy some repulsive and inedible garishly pink iced ready-made cup cakes and jolly well learn to decorate them just as quick as you can.
Then the magic cup cake fairy will wave her magic wand and suddenly there will be loads and loads of really well paid jobs for every idle layabout currently without a job.
All the jobs will be just decorating horrible iced cup cakes all day, but that doesn’t matter because it’s a job innit ? And the good old Government which creates all the millions of other phantom jobs like this will score even more Brownie points with the irretrievably stupid electorate.
Oh, and meanwhile all benefit payments can become slashed by the Government so no unemployed people can have enough money to even survive in abject poverty in order to force them all to go out and gainfully decorate cup cakes.
That way Bankers will become richer and decent people even poorer, but who cares ? Not the people running the country and certainly not the wickedly dishonest bankers who destroyed so many jobs with their uncontrollable. dishonesty, greed and corruption.