TESCO TAT – A PRODUCT MADE IN CHINA

WHERE ELSE BUT CHINA TO MANUFACTURE YOUR CHEAP AND NASTY PRODUCT ?

IT IS THE BEST PLACE BY FAR TO PRODUCE DANGEROUS, SHODDY PRODUCTS, UNFIT FOR PURPOSE.

TESCO CAN ALWAYS BE RELIED ON TO KNOW WHERE TO FIND THE CHEAPEST RUBBISH.

Yes, this is about a TESCO own brand toaster manufactured in China and foisted on unsuspecting little me in the quaint belief it would actually work adequately.

I mean, what could go wrong with a toaster ? Either it works or it doesn’t. If the electric element heats up it will toast the bread. If it doesn’t heat up it goes back to the TESCO supermarket from whence it came for a full refund.

It is the second TESCO toaster I bought. It took a long time to realise just how badly made they are. The first toaster just stopped working one day and as I had had it a few months, I didn’t think I would get anywhere asking the rapacious Tesco Supermarket for a refund. So, I bought another one. Silly ! I should have known better.

Toast always seemed to get stuck and have to be prised out of the thing. You had to get a fork and poke and prod and lever the toasted bread out. The slot to put the bread in was particularly narrow, being obviously designed to take only the ‘ironed’, flat, mass produced supermarket white sliced rubbish apology for bread that TESCO foists on millions of people.

There was no way this tatty TESCO toaster was going accept crumpets or any bread you might have to cut with a bread knife unless you cut it to carefully measured widths so thin it would inevitably disintegrate before you got it into the toaster.

There was always a possibility of death by electrocution too if you forgot to switch the toaster off at the mains because your fork, or knife, or whatever, would touch the bare exposed electric elements that glowed red hot with death inducing electricity to burn the toast with.

Nearly all toasters used to be designed quite differently with a flap you opened to place your bread in and then close it to push the bread up against the electric element. It was quite impossible for toast to get stuck and so no death inducing poking around the naked electric element with metal cutlery was ever needed.

The reason I suspect this well tried and tested – infinitely more efficient and safer design – is no longer manufactured is because the interfering, goody goody EEC Euro control freaks sitting on their immensely stupid backsides at our expense in Euro fantasy land (that’s Brussels) have decided that particular, safer design of toaster is too unsafe and it would therefore be much safer if the electric elements were less open to view and were hidden away down a deep dark inaccessible slot in which you poked your bread into.

These Euro crazed idiots didn’t think of the law of unintended consequences on their interfering, busy body diktats.

With the original design of toaster no one ever had to poke around live electrical elements with metal instruments to prise out their toast. But with the newer design now forced upon everyone by the Euro Prats, a great deal of poking about with metal cutlery in amongst the exposed electrical elements of millions of toasters goes on, as toast is forever getting stuck.

But, back to the real shoddiness of a lousy TESCO product that is basically a death trap.

Like other toasters, the TESCO toaster has little vertical wires in front of the dangerous live electric elements to keep the bread away from the glowing red hot element because if slightly damp bread was to actually touch the electrical elements they could ‘short out’ and a fuse would blow somewhere, or else your plug would melt and catch fire or something.

This kind of typical accidental short circuiting fault in all sorts of electrical equipment is a very common cause of domestic house fires.

But these little wires in the grimly shoddy TESCO toaster are not the robust, firmly placed and rigidly immovable little wires they should be, securely anchored at both top and bottom so they actually do their job reliably of keeping bread away from the naked electrical elements.

Instead, the wires are thin, not at all robust. They are flimsy and bend easily as you put bread into the toaster. But the crowning glory of sheer breathtaking, nasty, dangerous, shoddiness is that the bottom ends of these wires – right at the bottom of the little bread slot of the toaster – are not actually firmly anchored at all.

Instead, the cheap minded designer of the toaster decided to simply run the wires through a little hole in a metal plate right at the bottom of the toasting slot. This saves the bother of soldering the bottom ends of these wires and means the toaster can be made more cheaply.

But guess what happens ? Why, the bottom ends of the wires easily pull out of their allotted holes as bread is prised reluctantly out of the narrow toasting slot. This is particularly likely to happen almost every time the toaster is used if, like me, you either make your own ‘real’ bread, or just buy it from a proper baker, and then have to cut it with a bread knife.

This non uniformly shaped slice of bread tends to easily catch on these pathetically flimsy protective wires in this cheap and dangerously nasty TESCO product. This is very likely to pull these wires out of the holes where they will randomly twist and bend as the toaster is used and they will snag your bread even more enthusiastlcally, until one day they contrive to touch two or more of the bright red hot exposed electric elements which will promptly short circuit your toaster, or house, or possibly your life.

So, that’s why my first TESCO toaster died so soon after buying it and this latest bit of TESCO Tat that passes itself off as a toaster has now got nearly all these wires waving in the breeze just waiting to cause a short circuit which will eventually kill the toaster, or me, or my family.

Meanwhile using the shoddy little rubbish TESCO toaster is just a nightmare.

Well done the Euro idiots and well done TESCO for producing a dangerous and breathtakingly shoddy product; and well done China for producing yet more sub-standard rubbish which is foisted on the rest of the World.

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